she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
