went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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