you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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