They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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