We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
