Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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