I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
