I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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