...so i touched it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
