i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
