Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
