is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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