Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
