PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i think my cat just said my name.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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