I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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