I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
