I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
