I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
