then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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