Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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