I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
