So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
