He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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