I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
