No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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