i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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