We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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