I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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