i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
