when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
