So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
