we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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