You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
FUCK WHALES
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
