My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
