dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
