As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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