i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
