Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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