New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
