You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
