We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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