I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
