clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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