does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have feelings that need drinking.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
