Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You have to summon your inner elephant
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
