I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
