So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
