you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
