you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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