That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
