hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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