You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I could fuck to npr.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
