Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
